Mine
by TwilaCute
Summary: Remus thinks of Sirius when they were younger; but what's happening outside his mind? Sirius/Remus pairing, SLASH. Don't like, don't read it please! Thank you!


**Disclaimer's at the bottom. My first angst!fic so please be nice!**

Someone - someone amazing - once told me that love, unlike life, was infinite. They said that, once you find the right person, you will love them throughout all your lives. They said everyone had a perfect partner that they'd always meet up with, in each and every one of their lives.

It was just a matter of letting them enter your world forever.

I honestly thought Sirius and I were forever. Looking back, I guess we were. Sorry, are.

We were in sixth year when we got together. Best day of my life, that was. Sirius just randomly, in front of the entire common room and his fan club - they never forgave me - kissed me and pronounced his crush on me, a crush he'd been harbouring for four years. It was the first out of two times that I ever saw him blush. God, he looked so beautiful then.

I agreed, of course, to going out with him - I'd had a crush on him for five years. Yes, a gay werewolf; deal with it.

The Gryffindors were rejoicing. Well, rejoicing by the terms of passing bets around. I didn't care though. Sirius Black had kissed me and now we were dating.

We bickered, like all couples. However, that didn't stop us loving one another desperately. We'd always apologise together, by pure coincidence.

Then the Prank happened - it really damaged our relationship. Sirius was so apologetic after. We'd broken up then, for three weeks. He'd continue apologising, sending notes in class and offering to help me. I'd always brush him off though - I shouldn't have. I wish; I wish I could change that. My Siri practically died in those three weeks. He was taken to Madam Pomfrey eighteen times.

He'd caught a terrible infection. I remember hearing about it, from James - he was bitter towards me in the time following mine and Sirius' break up -, and immediately dropped my Muggle Studies book. James blinked at me, a curious expression crossing his face. I remember yelling at him, demanding why he hadn't told me. Then he went to yell back but I was gone, out of the Portrait Hole and on my way to the Infirmary. When Madam Pomfrey saw me, she asked if I was alright. I asked her where Sirius was. She sighed and pointed behind her. I raced over to Siri's side, tears already streaming down my face. He looked up at me, paler than usual. His grey eyes, bless them, seemed to lighten up as I sat next to him, taking his hand. His other caressed my face gently before he began coughing. I helped him sit up, watching in dreaded fear as his face, his beautiful face, turned paler.

Once he'd calmed down, I began to rant: "Siri, I'm so sorry, so so so sorry! I shouldn't have brushed you off, you were sorry; I..." I remember pausing here, letting my heart and soul pour out. Sirius only laid there, half-lidded eyes gazing at me, insisting I continue. So I did. "I was so scared, Siri, that Snape would tell. That I'd be expelled. And I didn't want that. I wanted to be as close to you as possible. I didn't want to leave you. I still don't. God, Siri, I'm so sorry!" I was weeping, tears trickling down my already sopping cheeks.

Suddenly Sirius was caressing my face again. "I love you, Remus," he murmured, pulling me closer. I sighed, sadly. How could someone love me? I'm a werewolf, a beast.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because you're you. That's why." And he kissed me, our second kiss ever. I loved that moment. I loved the sentence he spoke, the breathless tone he said it in. I loved him. I love him.

Years went by and we grew up. Sirius got better, we moved in together; life couldn't be more perfect. Then Harry was born; baby Harry, Lily and James' son. He was a beauty, cutest thing I'd ever seen, other than Siri. I remember the second time I ever saw Sirius blush was when James asked him to be godfather. His smile then, damn beautiful. Then again, he was always beautiful.

And then Halloween. God, I hate Halloween. Voldemort killing James and Lily. Peter betraying us. Sirius going to Azkaban. I couldn't bear it. For twelve years I wept. I never went a day without cursing Sirius, for, you see, I thought it was he who betrayed us. Them. Me.

Harry's third year changed that. I found out Sirius was innocent, my Siri. I was ecstatic. My life was whole - almost - for one measly minute. Then Peter... I don't want to talk about that. I could've killed him then; I should've. The slimy, two-faced…

I could've killed them, the children. I'd never loved Sirius more than I loved him then. I still haven't. He saved Harry, got free. I saw Buckbeak as he flew away; I saw him as I woke up.

Handing in my resignation was the simple part. Telling Harry I was always there for him: simple.

Then I went home. For a year, nothing. I was scared that Siri had been killed or found - but he hadn't. Dumbledore sent me a letter, said Sirius was coming. I made a bed, got food in and waited for three nights. No sleep. He burst through that door, knocking me off my feet. I smiled as he pinned me to the floor, eyes focusing on mine. Despite his ragged, scarred, marred appearance, he was still Sirius. My Sirius.

We talked. Boring, yes. But we discussed whether to continue the relationship we had before. It was simple: yes.

In secret, we met at night in Grimmauld Place, when I wasn't on missions. Never telling. Tonks knew but the dear girl was too infatuated with me to understand. Werewolves mate for life: I was Sirius', he mine. And then IT happened.

God, why! Kaboom. Ended. He died. The veil. Harry and Bellatrix and Voldemort and... I was only told he'd died. Only told that you'd died. Died… Such a foreign word until then. I mean, James and Lily died, yes. But they weren't you. And I didn't love them as much as I loved you. As much as I love you.

I never told you I loved you, Siri. I do. I love you ever so much. I do, I do, I do! Even as Death Eaters take my life, take my 'wife's' (she's not really, she just promised to keep us a secret: she's a brilliant actor, like you), I love you.

I miss you.

I love you.

I'm dying, Siri.

I'll see you soon.

Wait for me, love.

I love you.

I love you more than anything, Siri.

My Siri.

My Padfoot.

My hero.

Mine…

**I know it's not my best but I wrote it ages ago and only just realised I hadn't posted it. It's not beta-ed this time so any mistakes are my own.**

**Disclaimer: TwilaCute does NOT, she repeats NOT, own anything in this, other than the idea. Everything you recognise it property of J. , the amazing author.**

**I hope it's not that bad. If anyone's had this idea before, I'm really sorry! I thought the idea up on the spot! I'm sorry!**

**Also, like I say before, although I may like to hear what you have to say, I don't ne****cessarily need a reviews so you don't have to review but I'd like it if you could please! Thank you!**

**Twila :)**


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